Pancakes - crêpe style

Unless you’re a bona fide half-wit, you don't really need a recipe in order to make a pancake; you just get all the leftovers out of your kitchen cupboards, mix them together and fry them. It's EASY. Even for the likes of me.

I usually begin by mixing together some black-eyed peas. I often buy them for fancy vegetarian recipes I see in library books but then never really have the need to use them again. Not wanting to waste food (I'm very ethical, you see), I dig them out and chuck them in.

Next up is red wine vinegar. Red wine vinegar is occasionally found in recipes - a teaspoon here, a tablespoon there - but because "500ml red wine vinegar" is never required in recipes, it's typically left in your cupboard for years. The one saving grace is that no matter how long you leave it there, it doesn’t seem to go “bad” but with time it DOES become overly pungent...too pungent, so I pour it in.

My final ingredient can vary but recently, I have been using caraway seeds. I'd bought them for the carrot and hummus sandwich, thinking that they would cause me to cry out with desire. As it happens, I don't think they really did all that much to the flavour. They were still sitting in the cupboard, looking all sullen and repentant, so I decided to put them out of their misery and whisk them into my mixture.

If you're crying out at your computer screen: "IT'S NOT WHAT LEFTOVERS YOU ACTUALLY HAVE! IT'S THE LEFTOVERS YOU WOULD HAVE HAD WHEN ALL EGGS WERE FREE RANGE AND THE WORLD WARS HADN’T HAPPENED YET!" then give yourself a pat on the back, if your agility permits it.

Yes, of course this is a joke but I'm not the only one who might need a lesson or two in making pancakes. You only need to toddle down to your local Tesco to see the rows of HALF PRICE "Betty Crocker" pancake mix in a bottle.

Two giraffes I slaughtered earlier...kidding, I'm a veggie!

So gather round and read this quickly because it'll be Shrove Tuesday before you know it (IT’S TOMORROW!!!!).

This recipe is from an ancient copy of the Good Housekeeping New Basic Cookery book. I know it’s ancient because the RRP on the back is £3.95 and you’d be hard pushed to find any cooking book for less than a tenner these days. I’ve just checked the publishing information and it’s actually a “completely revised” edition printed in 1984.

So yes, sorry, the pancakes. Serves 4, probably a couple each. 

You will need…

125g plain flour

A pinch of salt

1 egg

300ml milk and water, mixed half and half

A little butter or oil, for frying

1. Mix the flour and salt. I would sift the flour but the recipe doesn't expressly say to do so. 

2. Make a well in the centre and break in the egg.

3. Add half the liquid, gradually work in the flour using a wooden spoon and beat until the mixture is smooth.

It looks like a Cadbury's creme egg!

4. Add the remaining liquid gradually and beat until well mixed and the surface is covered with tiny bubbles. You might want to use a whisk here. I did just because I didn’t add the rest of the water as gradually as you’re meant to. Wooden or whisk, it’ll be fine.

5. Melt enough butter in a frying pan to coat the bottom or heat up a similar amount of oil. Pour off any surplus fat (says the recipe but I didn’t do this because pouring fat away is a hassle). When the fat is hot, pour or ladle in a little batter or why not be a smart arse? However you choose to pour the mixture in, make sure you have just enough to cover the bottom of the pan, as thin as possible.

6. Cook the pancake until it is golden brown on the underside, then toss or turn it over and cook the other side.

May I say that I did manage to successfully toss a pancake but try photographing that shit when you're on your own. 

7. Turn it out on a plate. 

Enjoy them with the traditional lemon juice and sugar or if you’re feeling childish, slobber on some strawberry jam. If you’re a bit pretentious, go French and spread Nutella (very authentic) and banana and create yourself a crêpe.

Look at those crispy edges!

They're magical, they're versatile and best of all, they're easy! I had one traditional and one childish but I'm not pretentious (read: we had no Nutella in the house).

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