Snow Sorbet / Ice Cream

 Good news readers! You have been treated to a break from my self-indulgent ways today. Call it a snow day or call it something else because I have no anecdote for you! Why? Have you not been living? Have you drunk one too many mind-eraser cocktails in Kavos? No! No! And I don’t have time for dicking around like this either: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY POST!

There are lots of emergencies in the snow, you see. Some people break their legs and others get stranded in their cars. The 24-hour news coverage uses the word “treacherous” so freely that you begin to wonder whether there is a new nutty, marshmallow-y chocolate bar on the scene called Treacherous, the manufacturers of which have embarked on an expensive and wide-reaching subliminal advertising campaign. But I have no time to ponder these types of questions because as I said, this is an urgent situation.

When I saw that it was snowing earlier this week, I went all Earth Mother because I remembered that we are all one organism; us and the earth. I know this to be a fact because I used to smoke grass! Literally!

You see, as a naive 13-year-old I was conned into buying some rolling papers and a rolling “machine” from an older girl at school. I was too young to buy tobacco and so to avoid my purchase becoming a waste of money, I used to roll up grass from the local park and smoke that instead. Imagine putting your mouth over an entire bonfire and inhaling – it was catastrophic.

However, I learnt there and then that I was at one with the earth; I was smoking it and it just letting me stand on it.

Right, right – sorry, an emergency. The recipe I am bringing to you today is concerned with snow and snow melts and only comes once or twice a year so if I don’t tell you about this RIGHT NOW, you might have to wait another year before trying it.

Incidentally, life as a food blogger isn’t easy. I can’t just cook stuff I love all the time, otherwise I would simply bring you a selection of vegetable lasagnes and lemon drizzle cakes. Instead, I have to do crazy things! Wild things! Things I don’t want to do! Some may say that as I have no readers, there is no point in me doing these things I hate…and they would be right…but I am very silly.

So, when I saw that it had snowed, I thought I had better make the most of it, even though the last thing one wishes to eat at the height of winter is a bowl of ice cream.

According to every website I have ever read about snow ice cream, you’re meant to be very vigilant about which snow you use. For example and perhaps most importantly, do take note of Frank Zappa’s advice and Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow (I can’t take credit for this reference).

To collect your snow, you are technically meant to leave a bowl outside (in a quiet area) and let the snow fall directly into the bowl. Then collect the bowl right away. That is probably what you should do but for those of us who didn’t think about this in time, don’t worry too much.

My snow, collected from the garden.

 I used day-old snow in my back garden which was, as far as I could tell, untouched. Just to make sure, I scraped a layer off the top and used the middle snow. I ate a fair bit of the ice cream and haven’t had the runs yet (although if you don’t hear from me in the coming weeks, assume the worst).

This recipe makes 1 serving of vanilla sorbet/ice cream but you can easily double, triple etc. the quantities as you see fit.

Ingredients

400ml snow

25g caster sugar

½ tsp vanilla essence (I used 1 tsp but this was too much, so measure it to your own tastes)

60ml milk (you might not need all of this)

1. Stir your sugar into the snow.
2. Stir in the vanilla – taste as you go along to make sure you’re not going over the top like I did.
3. Stir in enough milk for the desired consistency. Mine had almost all of the milk in, which made it more sorbet-like. If the worst happens and you put too much milk in…just go outside and collect some more snow!

It goes without saying that you should try to work quickly but if this doesn’t happen, pop the ice cream into the freezer for a few minutes. Serve in a pretty dish!

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